The Charminguy

Keeping your love tank full

Spring Cleaning Our Relationships

Before we start with anything new it is a good idea to evaluate what we already have and there is nothing like a good spring to bring us clarity around this.

When we spring clean our homes we divide our things into one of the following five categories.

  • There's the rubbish that must go out immediately.
  • There is material to be recycled.
  • There are possessions that you know you should get rid of, but you are too attached to let them go. So you give yourself some distance by putting them in bags in your cellar or attic. If you haven't missed them by the following spring , they're discarded.
  • Then there are those neglected objects that just need a little TLC to bring back the sparkle. And finally, there are the treasures that are dusted off and put back in pride of place.

It's a good idea to spring clean our relationships occasionally too, and for this task I use exactly the same criteria.

First let's consider the relationship rubbish: the ones that are really toxic. Take a couple of moments to change your perspective about your difficult relationship. Imagine how your moving on will work for everyone involved.

If there are some things you are afraid of - maybe now would be the time to seek help if someone is threatening you, or even if you are feeling uncomfortable about expres sing yourself you may need professional help to free yourself and achieve the life you deserve.

Now the recyclables. Remember you may no longer have a good connection with these people, but someone else will really love them. The sooner you let go, the sooner you can both move on with your lives.

The relationships you need to distance yourself from. They say they're your friend but do nothing but put you down. It’s time to stop answering the phone. She'll/he'll soon find some other poor soul to boost their ego for them. Where could you go to meet people who value you?

The relationship that's working: Who do you need to phone to say I love you? Have you been too busy lately to spend time with the people who really matter? Take some time to show them you really care. These are the things you wish you'd done when it's too late.

Make a list, and then make the calls!

Now you are ready to make room for your new relationships.

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