Keeping your love tank full
Keeping the Love Tank Full – The Charminguys’ View on “Running on Empty”
The following are my brief points of view on the quotes in this years inaugural November 30th edition of Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The Love Language Minutes” newsletter.
Running on Empty
I liked the metaphor the first time I heard it: “Inside every child is an ‘emotional tank’ waiting to be filled. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally, but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Their misbehavior is a misguided search for the love they did not feel. Many of their parents also suffer from an empty love tank, and much of the misbehavior of married individuals grows out of an empty love tank.
This is the 2nd of a 4 part series where I am expressing my perspective on the love languages. I have on many occasions credited Dr. Gary Chapman as my inspiration for following my line of thinking in regards to emotional languages, however, I do belief that I have a more practical view in certain respects, especially considering that I use my own experiences as examples. In my journeys across the world for the past 30 years, and more specifically since taking up my newfound “hobby” of empowering relationships through inspiring men to be more romantic & charming to the partners in their lives, I’d like to address emotional love languages in the context of all relationships, regardless of their legal status. Whilst recently reading Marcus Buckinghams’ book “Go Put Your Strengths To Work”, I came across his support of studies showing that “50% of our personality is DNA, whilst the remainder is influenced by our peers/environment as we grow-up”. It goes further to state that as we get older, we simply become more of who we truly are. The stress that we bring into our lives is when we fight against our natural strengths and against the loving nature we were born to be. This stress and resistance only brings about more pain & confusion, as well as influences us to “act on thoughts”, or make decisions, which are not aligned with our core values.
When our love tank is full, regardless of the nature of the relationship, be it business or pleasure, are we not more likely to be aligned with the genuine loving and emotionally generous nature that we all have within us? I read somewhere once that at the root of everything we do is either fear or love. At the core of every choice we make, reflects a reaction to fear or love, and this reaction is also subsequently influenced by our thoughts and beliefs of what we deem to be true, based on what has transpired in our lives to date.
The interjection of the influence of “thoughts” & “acting on thoughts”, and how they apply to the state of your emotional relationship with yourself first, and your surroundings second, is based on my interpretations of Byron Katie’s “Loving What Is”. In it, I have discovered how our thoughts gain particular meaning to us based on our past experiences, and as a reaction to those experiences, we act out of fear or love. It is therefore only natural to conclude, that when our love tank is empty, we will not ne able to act in alignment with the genuinely loving & generous nature we were born with, and most likely lost along the way as the majority of us passed into adolescence.
In essence, every relationship we have, whether of a personal, intimate, professional or casual nature, is directly influenced by the existing capacity of our emotional love tank. Reflecting on your own love tank, as well as those of the people you most love or congregate with, what is the current state of your/their love tank? And what can you do to fill it up?
Next weeks 3rd of this 4 part series will be "Speak Their Love Language".
Running on Empty
I liked the metaphor the first time I heard it: “Inside every child is an ‘emotional tank’ waiting to be filled. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally, but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Their misbehavior is a misguided search for the love they did not feel. Many of their parents also suffer from an empty love tank, and much of the misbehavior of married individuals grows out of an empty love tank.
This is the 2nd of a 4 part series where I am expressing my perspective on the love languages. I have on many occasions credited Dr. Gary Chapman as my inspiration for following my line of thinking in regards to emotional languages, however, I do belief that I have a more practical view in certain respects, especially considering that I use my own experiences as examples. In my journeys across the world for the past 30 years, and more specifically since taking up my newfound “hobby” of empowering relationships through inspiring men to be more romantic & charming to the partners in their lives, I’d like to address emotional love languages in the context of all relationships, regardless of their legal status. Whilst recently reading Marcus Buckinghams’ book “Go Put Your Strengths To Work”, I came across his support of studies showing that “50% of our personality is DNA, whilst the remainder is influenced by our peers/environment as we grow-up”. It goes further to state that as we get older, we simply become more of who we truly are. The stress that we bring into our lives is when we fight against our natural strengths and against the loving nature we were born to be. This stress and resistance only brings about more pain & confusion, as well as influences us to “act on thoughts”, or make decisions, which are not aligned with our core values.
When our love tank is full, regardless of the nature of the relationship, be it business or pleasure, are we not more likely to be aligned with the genuine loving and emotionally generous nature that we all have within us? I read somewhere once that at the root of everything we do is either fear or love. At the core of every choice we make, reflects a reaction to fear or love, and this reaction is also subsequently influenced by our thoughts and beliefs of what we deem to be true, based on what has transpired in our lives to date.
The interjection of the influence of “thoughts” & “acting on thoughts”, and how they apply to the state of your emotional relationship with yourself first, and your surroundings second, is based on my interpretations of Byron Katie’s “Loving What Is”. In it, I have discovered how our thoughts gain particular meaning to us based on our past experiences, and as a reaction to those experiences, we act out of fear or love. It is therefore only natural to conclude, that when our love tank is empty, we will not ne able to act in alignment with the genuinely loving & generous nature we were born with, and most likely lost along the way as the majority of us passed into adolescence.
In essence, every relationship we have, whether of a personal, intimate, professional or casual nature, is directly influenced by the existing capacity of our emotional love tank. Reflecting on your own love tank, as well as those of the people you most love or congregate with, what is the current state of your/their love tank? And what can you do to fill it up?
Next weeks 3rd of this 4 part series will be "Speak Their Love Language".
Add a Comment
About
Photos
Videos
My Tool Kit
My DVD list
Badge
Charminguy Recommended Sites
Linqia; What if Google & Amazon got together and brought your relevant communities? This is even better!
Strategy in a Day; There's more to the Charminguy than just Charm & Romance.
Year of Living; JC & Maria's personal blog
The Community Girl; The Community Girl is a catalyst to inspire enthusiasts like you to learn how to harness the power of online communities. The purpose of this community is to share, ask questions and learn. You'll find blog articles, discussions, links to other blogs, books, videos, events, white papers, websites and experts contributed by all of us.
The Hunger Project; The Hunger Project is a global, strategic organization committed to the sustainable end of world hunger.
One Laptop Per Child; Our mission is to provide a means for learning, self-expression and exploration to the nearly two billion children of the developing world with little or no access to education.
Amazing Dreamers; 'Amazing Dreamers' is a community for people who want to take serious steps forward to making their dreams happen.
Cruel to be kind; Nicole Simon's passionate but pragmatic approach for using blogs, podcasts and other tools in professional and private endeavors. And some other stuff she is passionate about. Nicole lives in Lübeck, Germany and likes to facilitate a broader perspective.
The Love Foundation; The Love Foundation is a nonprofit organization with the mission of inspiring people to love unconditionally. Our vision is to assist people by building a practical foundation and understanding of love within individuals and society as a whole.
Tango Diva; Through travel, we gain a clearer vision of what it means to be a positive participant in this ever-shrinking world. Our mission is to equip women with tools that give them the confidence to travel alone. And once they experience the success of flying solo, then they can apply their newfound verve for adventure to their day-to-day lives. We become better people when we learn about the world and ourselves.
Tango Diva gives women their wings through sharing insight, direction, and inspiration so that they can become active, knowledgeable participants in life.
re:invention Marketing; A connection to working/enterprising women
Strategy in a Day; There's more to the Charminguy than just Charm & Romance.
Year of Living; JC & Maria's personal blog
The Community Girl; The Community Girl is a catalyst to inspire enthusiasts like you to learn how to harness the power of online communities. The purpose of this community is to share, ask questions and learn. You'll find blog articles, discussions, links to other blogs, books, videos, events, white papers, websites and experts contributed by all of us.
The Hunger Project; The Hunger Project is a global, strategic organization committed to the sustainable end of world hunger.
One Laptop Per Child; Our mission is to provide a means for learning, self-expression and exploration to the nearly two billion children of the developing world with little or no access to education.
Amazing Dreamers; 'Amazing Dreamers' is a community for people who want to take serious steps forward to making their dreams happen.
Cruel to be kind; Nicole Simon's passionate but pragmatic approach for using blogs, podcasts and other tools in professional and private endeavors. And some other stuff she is passionate about. Nicole lives in Lübeck, Germany and likes to facilitate a broader perspective.
The Love Foundation; The Love Foundation is a nonprofit organization with the mission of inspiring people to love unconditionally. Our vision is to assist people by building a practical foundation and understanding of love within individuals and society as a whole.
Tango Diva; Through travel, we gain a clearer vision of what it means to be a positive participant in this ever-shrinking world. Our mission is to equip women with tools that give them the confidence to travel alone. And once they experience the success of flying solo, then they can apply their newfound verve for adventure to their day-to-day lives. We become better people when we learn about the world and ourselves.
Tango Diva gives women their wings through sharing insight, direction, and inspiration so that they can become active, knowledgeable participants in life.
re:invention Marketing; A connection to working/enterprising women
© 2009 Created by JC Duarte on Ning. Create Your Own Social Network
You need to be a member of The Charminguy to add comments!
Join this social network