The Charminguy

Keeping your love tank full

This article was recently published in a the hot Marketing & PR blog "re:invention".

Many statistics are readily available to educate you on how to better court the Working Woman. Everything I’ve been reading lately is about the facts, figures and even emotions of selling to women. As a progressive male, or so I’ve been told I am, I’d like to take you on the journey of love languages, empathy & the lost art of listening as a vehicle to the empowering of any Working Woman. I’d like to venture out on a limb and address the key contributing factors which will greatly contribute to Super Women everywhere holding themselves to the lofty near impossible goal of work-life balance.

A woman, as with any human being, is not whole unless she is fulfilled in every aspect of her needs. Quoting the book Vocal Power by Arthur Samuel Joseph; of how the greatest fear, fear of public speaking is a misnomer, "people suffer from two distinct fears that have been lumped together: the fear of abandonment and the fear of owning our power." I wish to address the fear of abandonment. A woman by nature already has an overwhelmingly superior number of disadvantages in the workplace when compared to her male counterpart. Any stereotypical advantage tagged to women of being more compassionate, comprehensive and having heightened emotional awareness actually work toward their detriment if they are not fulfilled in those very aspects of their lives.

Consider for one second the metaphysical challenges that all women face on one level or another. As a an "average joe", it’s bad enough thinking about getting through a day when I’ve had a tummy ache or a hangover. I can’t even imagine the inconvenience of menstruation, let alone the accompanying discomfort and pains associated with it. In my relationship with my fiancee, I limit my intervention to being extra empathetic during that period of the month, no pun intended, and making sure that she has plenty of Panadol at arms length. So considering the societal bias and expectations that are imposed on a woman, that’s an article unto itself, I’ll just address how I’ve seen women empowered by a man simply loving them in a very natural charming and romantic way.

Throughout my life, and more specifically in the past four years whilst doing research for my Values Based Strategic Management Venture Strategy in a Day (, I’ve spoken to thousands of men and women about love languages and how these impact our emotional well being. Sure, you can tell a woman that you love her, you can buy her flowers and you can buy her diamonds; but if her love language is Quality Time, Touch or Words of Affirmation you’re just not authentically communicating your love to her. Granted, these things are all part of the permanent courtship requirements of keeping a relationship vibrant, but I’ve just mentioned 3 of the 5 love languages. Do you know the love language of the woman you’re trying to court? Then how do you expect to communicate to her on the most intimate of levels?

Gifts and Acts of Service are the other two emotional love languages that we all share. One of these is always our primary, so unless you are empathetic and are willing to embrace and engage in the lost art of listening, it is my belief that you are not effectively communicating or empowering any woman, let alone an Enterprising Woman. Think of the most successful products that have ever been devised for women. Were they not delivering on the premise of emotional satisfaction? You don’t think that a $600 pair of Manolo Blahniks is not addressing Words of Affirmation? Everything from the compliments of the girlfriends to the stature and elegance which makes a woman feel sexy, beautiful and elegant is still an affirmation, subliminal words of affirmation.

To expand on this notion, it’s my belief that for a woman to truly stand in all her glory and power, a man must know how to emotionally satisfy her. You must first connect to a woman emotionally before you can truly captivate her heart; and an empowered woman is unstoppable in every respect. The most challenging of days can become stress free when a woman feels genuinely loved, respected and appreciated. All it takes is a 160 character, or less, mobile text message to light up the heart of a woman. A surprise date, having first reserved the time when an Enterprising Woman is busy, will linger in her thoughts through the barrage of legal contracts in the ensuing days. A foot massage, an Opera, an intimate chat on the lounge or even a roller coaster ride will put all of her daily challenges and stresses into perspective.

Finally, to the guys that ask me "what’s in it for you"; consider what an appreciative and fully empowered woman would do for you. Yes, it is indeed a reciprocal relationship and I would encourage you to engrave it your daily lives.

I deliver on my passion for empowering women through my hobby of ( so that even the busiest of men can find new, yet simple, ideas for empowering the women in their lives, thus empowering every relationship. You see, I truly believe that every man is already a charming guy, some of which have unfortunately been "hard wired" from a certain age onward to believe otherwise. That is why I chose to only have one "g" in my brand; because I don’t teach any one how to be a "charming guy", I focus my efforts at bringing out the charm-in-guy.

How do you regularly empower your Enterprising Woman? If you're a woman, how are you empowered by your partner?

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